Its was not too long since Dennis and I started a long distance relationship, But we still wanted to share with you what we have learned about it. We have received a lot of comments and opinions about my decision to work abroad. We also had long conversations about it before my flight, Despite of all that drama. Here we are now.
Flashback, before I met Dennis, I already had plans of working abroad. I have failed a few times so I decided to pause and think about it again. After meeting him, everything seemed to change.
Like a jigsaw puzzle, Every broken pieces seemed to be falling into the right place and gives you a beautiful view of life.
That is what I thought when I met him. Then an opportunity came, I have to make one big decision. This is to work abroad and start a long distance relationship or to stay in the Philippines and stay by his side. There are a lot of pros and cons that I have to consider for this decision. Trust me, it was not easy. The breaking point of my decision is my perception in life.
Try everything in your life. You only live once and if you failed trying. You will never have regrets when you die. At least you tried and gave your best.
This was the same reason I gave my partner. I have done almost everything I wanted to do with my life and working abroad is the last one on my bucket list that was placed on hold. Finally, he agreed to my decision even though he was against it. He have heard a lot of failed LDR stories and he is afraid that we would end up the same.
Be careful from whom you are seeking advise. REMEMBER: You couldn’t ask failure on how to be successful. BUT someone who succeeded will give you the BEST advises on how to succeed.
I never had bad feelings for those who did not believe in us. Dennis is a great guy that I never want to hurt. Fast forward, We decided to live together while I wait for my flight. And that was one good decision too. Here’s what I learned.
- FOUNDATION, I realized that this is the most important thing to have prior to Long distance relationship. You need to build the cornerstone of your relationship to make sure that no matter what challenges life will bring to you. Both will only shake but will never break.
- TRUST, I believe this is one of the cornerstone in every relationship, whether your in a long distance relationship or not. ALWAYS trust your man/lady. Take his/her word as it is and believe in each other.
there’s an old saying, ” A woman can get 100% Trust from his man but not his loyalty. And A man, can get 100% Loyalty from his woman but never her Trust”
Ladies, I’m talking to you now. i know how hard it is to trust the guy. But if you really love him, why do you have to hold back?
- HONESTY, It may sound so easy but its actually hard to tell the truth at all times. This is how you’ll earn each others trust. When your far from each other, You’ll be holding on to his/her words, So make sure that your very honest on what you feel or think towards the other. But don’t let them hanging there, give your explanation too. NO MIND GAMES! never let the each one of you guess on what is on your mind.
if you lie to your partner, your just fooling yourself
- LOVE, continue to love each other. In fact, Love your partner even more. Distance is just a number. reminisce the past, enjoy the moment and look forward for the future. And remember, Do not go into any sort of fight, you are already far from each other and an argument will not do anything good for both of you.
- COMMUNICATION, here’s one of the most vital part in an LDR. Always talk to your partner. It doesn’t matter who will call or send message first, the important thing is you were able to talk to each other. Sometimes, by just seeing your love one on a video call or just by simply hearing his/her voice, It makes your day right and complete.
- an important reminder: Never shout or project your bad mood over the phone
- PLAN, having a vision will motivate both of you. Plan something for both of you. It could be a vacation together, a pet, a business, food trip or anything under the sun that both of you will do together in the near future. Trust me, It lightens up the mood for both of you.
- INVEST, Try to invest on something that will allow growth for both of you. You have been apart for a reason. Take the opportunity to improve yourself for you and your partner. You have found the love of your life, so why not try to be the mr./ms. RIGHT for your partner.
- PRAY/ HAVE FAITH, If you have placed God at the center of your relationship. No one else can separate you because I believe that God will fill in the gaps that both of you have. Pray for each other.
Wow!, You have come this far. haha I know this was long, but I do hope that I was able to share with you some of the things that I have realized for the past few months that I have been away from my love. Some of these were insights from my friends who were and in an Long distance relationship. Each and everyone has a story to tell. Hopefully after 2 years, We will be able to tell you that WE DID IT! you can also visit my boyfriend’s blog regarding LDR at www.dennislife.com. You can also follow @surviving.the.distance in instagram for inspirational stories of people who are in an LDR.